Well, the final package that I was waiting to arrive showed up finally. I bought HR a new biking jersey with Théophile-Alexandre Steinlen’s Chat Noir on it. Fortunately, she doesn’t read this blog, or rather, I think she doesn’t, so it’s mostly safe to mention.

Dear Radio Programming Managers,

I would like to begin by stating the obvious. Today is November 14, 2007, and yes, I’ve posted two (now 3) posts tagged Christmas, but just because I’m actually working on Christmas presents for people, does not mean that I am ready for your radio programming to start actually playing Christmas songs yet. Not by any stretch of the imagination.

Let’s face it, there are exactly five secular Christmas songs: White Christmas, Rockin’ Round the Christmas Tree, Sleigh Ride, Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer, and I’ll be Home for Christmas, and every single secular and, for that matter, Christian artist has recorded a version of these songs. Played occasionally during the month of December, these songs quickly wear thin. Starting any earlier than November 23rd, the official start of the Christmas Shopping Season, as mandated by the retail marketing bastards trying to brainwash the American public into an army of mindless purchasing drones, buying whatever shit they happen to make available, makes these five songs absolutely enraging.

So, until the entire retail Christmas season is over I’ll be listening to the local station that syndicates the Bob and Tom Show. Bob and Tom’s humor might be uneven in the morning, but at least that station’s programming manager knows what today’s date is and when the station can start playing holiday music without completely pissing off the entire listening base.

Take a gentle suggestion from a regular listener, Radio Programming Managers. Next year, don’t even think about going ALL CHRISTMAS ALL THE TIME before December. If you really want to keep me, and my potential dollars that your advertisers so desperately want, tuned in, restrict the TOTAL HOLIDAY PROGRAMMING to December 23 through 25.

Thank you. We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming.

My family is doing a handmade Christmas this year, either making or buying handmade gifts. I support the idea fully and I’m going to do my best to do this in all* cases. Also, I’m considering re-gifting and thrifting in the spirit of this pledge, since it means the giver isn’t buying something new retail. Either way, this pretty much guarantees a sock and underwear free Christmas, because I just don’t have the patience to knit socks or underwear.

At the moment, what the pledge means to me is that I can’t share several “finished objects” that I’ve got about because the recipient also reads this blathering.